I found out last night that some friends of ours are separated. It just broke my heart for them...she didn't even really seem sad. Just glad to be rid of her "3rd child." They're such a cute and happy couple...or so we thought. I don't know how the kids are taking it but it made me sad to know that here goes another family who will be "shuffling" for the rest of their kids' lives.
We have another set of friends who say they're happy yet you never see them hold hands, he never puts his arm around her, they hardly ever ride together, and never even seem to exchange those "glances" with each other like they used to.
I don't have any wonderful solutions. I honestly think our marriage is as good as it is because of my hubby! He is very giving and very thoughtful about small things. He doesn't let issues go on between us because he feels this incessant need to "talk them out" (which usually irritates me at the beginning but then I'm always so happy after the fact). We try to pattern our marriage after the Bible. I know it is not perfect and I know that we fail miserably every day. But every morning when we get up, we try to start that day fresh. I always think of what Paul said when he wrote "I die daily." Sometimes there are things that would not be my first choice or maybe things that do irritate me a little, but it's not just me now. It's US. It's giving as well as taking. Sometimes I realize that I "get" more than I give. I don't want to take Shannon for granted. I think of my friends who have lost their husbands and can't imagine how lost they feel most days. I can't imagine not getting those phone calls throughout the day or a text here and there. I can't imagine not rolling over at night and seeing him laying next to me and knowing that all is right with the world. I can't imagine not washing his clothes or complaining about his dog. :-)
I realize all marriages were not built on the proper Christian foundation and that many of the problems stem from this. I know that hind sight is 20-20 and looking back, people would probably change the choices they made. But I also wish that people could see that there is a here and now that they are living in that the Lord is wanting to bless if they'll just let Him.
Shannon is the head of our house. We make most all the decisions together. He is by no means a dictator or a command man. But he leads our family by the Holy Spirit and with a whole lot of love. I know I have my faults and many many things that I need to "bump it up a notch" on. But I'm glad he loves me any way. I'm glad I don't have to worry about him cheating on me or getting drunk tonight or hangin' out with "the guys" doing something he shouldn't. I'm glad I have a guy who loves me with all his heart. Some days I think that if I loved him any more I might just die.
I just wanted to let it be known today that I LOVE MY HUSBAND and that I thank God every single day for blessing me with something that I surely do not deserve. If I have 70 years left with him or just one precious day, then I pray that I will make them count.
3 comments:
So sweet Katie! I personally admire your relationship with Shannon, and I hope that I can be as good of a wife to Andy as you are to Shannon. Marriage is HARD! It's a constant work in progress. I am glad that Andy is a good Christian father. He's not perfect, and I am SURE NOT, but I hope that we can look back one day and say that we did the best we could, and it was fun along the way. It too breaks my heart when I see marriages break up and hear of strife that married people are having, especially when children are involved. I know I am no better than any body and that I could just as easily be in their situation, but I hope and pray that I will try to stay close to the Lord and not let that happen! Thanks for your thoughts. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. You should write a book! I know I've told you that many times, but you really should! :)
BB
just reading your blog for the first time in a couple of months and i love this. there are so many people that just think of themselves and not the "us" in marriage. i know that i take so much for granted but when i look around i realize how blessed i am to know my husband will come home at night and he will not have been out partying or with some other person. it really puts things in perspective. thanks for sharing.
Marriage is definitely work even after 30 years.. I agree with your thoughts on never getting a phone call, text or lying next to them in bed (even though they might annoy you snoring). I thank God everyday for my husband!!
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